i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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