just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
