new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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