i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The power of my boobs compel you
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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