i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
