did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
