i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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