Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
