Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
