I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize