dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
