that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
