My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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