there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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