big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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