what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
