You can't special order awesome
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
