So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
