I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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