I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
