12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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