hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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