How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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