ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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