So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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