So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
nutella sex= disaster
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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