The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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