Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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