They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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