Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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