do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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