um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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