She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
