i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
