It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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