If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
