You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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