Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize