His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
