omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Im part way to drunk.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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