I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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