I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
