please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
