Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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