Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
