she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
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I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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