Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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