Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
