the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
