wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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