there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Define "chronic" masturbator.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
