Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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