Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
