Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
