it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
