okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
