Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
