We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
