there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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