what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize