But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
