I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we should paint friendship bongs
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